For My Protection – Carl Papa Palmer

When I try to open my email a big black bordered banner
with a flashing red X appears on my screen with the message:

A problem has occurred during sign in.
Please check your user name, password
and try again.

After another try, a larger yellow flashing banner warns:

For your protection –
after three failed attempts to sign in,
you will be permanently blocked from this email website.
You have already tried twice.

If you have forgotten your password and require a hint,
click on the security question tab:

For your protection –
Please enter the answers to these three secret questions
from when you initially registered for this account.

1- year your first pet died
2- Your father’s maiden name
3- Your ATM PIN number

Congratulations! 2 of your 3 answers match.
You are not blocked, however
you must create a new password.

Please follow these important directions
on how to create a strong password:

For your protection –
It must be 8 to 32 characters long
different from your previous six passwords
containing three numbers, two special characters
no repeated numbers, letters or symbols
no dates and no times
no common names, surnames or nicknames
cannot rhyme with your user name
no spaces, case sensitive, English only
no slang or song titles

After thirty minutes and
with the help of my 8 year old grandson:

Success! Your password is accepted.
For your protection –
a verification letter has been sent
to your new email inbox.

Finally! I go to the email website,
carefully type in my name and password,
Click to enter:

A big black bordered banner with a flashing red X appears on my screen.

About the contributor: Carl “Papa” Palmer of Old Mill Road in Ridgeway, Virginia, lives in University Place, Washington. He is retired from the military and Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) enjoying life now as “Papa” to his grand descendants and being a Franciscan Hospice volunteer. Carl is a Pushcart Prize and Micro Award nominee. His MOTTO is: Long Weekends Forever!