The Questions – Raj Rawat

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Just wondering what could be the worst thing happen to anyone,
What could be our worst fear, what could be our worst nightmare?
Slowly, slowly as I opened up my eyes to see the first sunlight,
I realized what my worst fear is,
It was losing me, losing myself to the questions of this world,

As a kid, I was on the moon,
Flying all over the sky to paint it blue,
Innocence was what all I had,
But very soon I realized,
This world has some other plans.

Every person I met looked beautiful to me,
Every step I took was new for me,
My thoughts were pure as they were full of hope,
But when I looked out of my window,
I found a new world which was not so pure,

When I grew old I became a part of this world,
Everybody was running, one after the other,
That’s where I realized life is a race,
Just a few 100 meters that can turn my faith,

The winner here is not the one, who starts first,
But the one who doesn’t lose himself till the last touch,
Girls looked pretty, the music sounded like words of God,
And humanity was my religion, I was told,
But all those beliefs faded away,
As I saw myself losing my way,

My parents started asking the questions of rights and wrongs,
And I had no answer but a question; “Tell me what’s right and what’s wrong.”
As I moved ahead I was told, “Knowledge is all you need to succeed in life,”
No quota, no special status, only knowledge, but they all were wrong,
People asked me to which caste and religion do I belong,
Do I need some quota or I have some source,
But why I need a quota in life when we know we all are one,
I asked them will the answer to these questions change who I am,
They said, that’s how life is, where no one is he or she but a part of this world.

My father asked me to look for a job,
I went for the interview with eyes full of hope,
As I looked around I found many faces similar to mine,
Few of them were there for the first time, and others have heard a no many times,
As my turn came I went in with a smile only to realize I am in hell not in paradise,
Questions after questions I realized,
I am at a place where life has no life,
So before I went out I asked them a question,
“Did you get to live the life you wanted?”
One of them smiled and said, it’s not us it’s our needs which decides our lives.

Finally, I met the girl I wanted to share my life with,
She was pretty, she was smart, and she was all I ever wanted,
I thought it’s going to be a beautiful life from here on,
We will get married and will live the life I have always dreamed of,
But all those thoughts got a break,
As she started asking the questions of what lies ahead,
I smiled looking at her and told her it’s going to be great,
I will get a job and we will live happily at the end of the day,
She said it’s getting too late,
I have my own dreams, waiting for you delaying all that I have,
I can’t trust you,
Let’s end this all without hurting each other anymore,
I smiled and asked her a question, will this end come without a tear,
She said nothing but just a bye and that’s how it ended without a cry.

Today life has come to a pause,
Many of those questions still have no answer to them,
But I have realized,
It’s all in my heart where I love what I have,
Glancing through these pages of my life,
I just wrote a chapter which was the only mine,
Questions of life are unending,
But answering them with a smile is something life teaches us with time,
What’s right and what’s wrong I am yet to be told,
But it looks beautiful when you know you gave life a question which is still unsolved.

About the contributor: Raj Rawat, based in Delhi, India, is a business owner by Rajprofession. Writing is one of his hobbies and is writing from his college days. His work is already published in a few online magazines and literary magazines. Through his poetry, he narrates stories that aim to raise questions in society and reach the hearts of people.

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